"You appear to be nothing more than a talentless con artist, or am I wrong?"

Nope, you're right.

I Like Turtles

"This isn't 'bad art'.  It's just plain bad."

No arguments here.

I Like Turtles

"Hey dude, you suck!"

So does your mom, but the poor woman needs the money.

I Like Turtles

Shameless Product Advertising Section

You're Old and Weak

So why don't you do something about it, dumbass? Stop being such a pussy.

You're Too Fucking Short

Everyone looks down on you.. literally. Make an effort to fix that, shrimp.

Your Dick is Tiny

Girls are laughing at you behind your back. I think it's pretty funny too.

Is it good to like bad art?
Or bad to dislike good art?

Fuck if I know. Those are stupid questions that I have no intention of answering. I'm just trying to add some content to my BAD ART website to make it seem somewhat legitimate. This is one of my lame attempts to do that. BAD ARTISTS. So just pretend that I'm saying something incredibly insightful here about art or whatever. And ignore the fact that I'm adding in keywords like BAD ART FOR SALE or wOrSt ArTiSt EvEr in this section. Blah blah blah BAD ART EXAMPLES me want to buy UGLY ART. Art blogs, art for sale, looking through gary gilmore's eyes, bad art museum, ugly artist, I have a brain in my head I have a brain in my ass both with the same thing in mind both determined to guide me through my life, ugly art museum.

I Also Offer a Wide Array of Disappointing Services

Just ask and maybe I'll reply

Custom Works

If I feel like it, (and if you have some serious money to waste), I might make you a custom piece of art. As long as your idea isn't incredibly stupid.

Personal Appearances

Want me to stop by and ruin your next event? I can cause an ugly scene, have sex with your wife, or give a 3 hour lecture on qualitative research design.


Are you dying to own a signed 8x10 photo of yours truly so that you can masturbate to it? Well, you're in luck. I'll even personalize it for you if you want.

Investment Opportunities

If you're wealthy (and delusional enough to think that I may be the next Jean-Michel Basquiat or David S. Pumpkins), now's the time to write me a check and help exploit my art for profit.

Gallery Inquiries

Eager to ruin your reputation as a respectable art gallery? Then have a show featuring my work. I've had many exhibitions... if you count the ones I've held in my basement for my cats.

Artist Spotlight

Are you a fellow artist and want to show me your work so I can steal your ideas? If I like what I see, I'll add a link to your page if you swear on the life of your first-born child to link back to mine.

Now go buy something

click here